“Sir, I have found another mentor, I don’t need you again in my life.” These were the words of a dear protégé some years ago. I was wondering why this person could think or talk like that. Even if you don’t need (which is not true) a mentor in your life again, there is a wisdom way to go about it. Anyway, this person has now seen the need to reconnect.
Friend, relationship management requires some wisdom. In fact, the most critical skill in the school of success is relationship management skill. Not too many people can handle relationships. This is why a lot of people are where they are today. Before you start asking God to connect you with people, ask Him to baptise you with wisdom.
Did you notice that Jesus increased in wisdom before He had favour with God and man (Luke 2:52)? His increase in wisdom was a factor for his relationship success. He could win with people because He walked in wisdom. He knew how to start and end a relationship; He knew how to transition from one season to another. That you are in summer today does not mean that you should throw your winter clothes away.
Learn to close doors properly. That someone is no longer relevant in your life now does not mean he should be treated badly. You would not have been where you are today without the person’s input. Learn to honour relationships even if you think you don’t need them again; you never can tell, you may need them tomorrow. Don’t slam the door (or even spoil/remove the hinges), you may have to go through that door again. It may be your link to greater doors.
One of my friends posted something thought provoking online recently. He said, “Esther, have you heard from Mordecai?” That you are now a queen does not mean that you should neglect the person who mentored you for the palace (Esther 4:12-17). That you are now married does not mean that you should cut every tie with the one God used to train you.
I am not saying that you should be tied to anyone’s apron strings. I am only saying that you should learn to honour relationships and invest appropriately into them. True mentors and leaders don’t even have the time to tie people down; they are too busy to canopy around your life. But you need to be wise enough to stay connected.
If you must leave a company, leave properly; tender your resignation letter, don’t just stop going to work. If you must leave a Church, leave well. Don’t muddle up the water you once drank from; give other people the chance to drink safely. Talk to the pastor. Explain your reason for leaving. Don’t leave people with questions in their hearts. Don’t give people a false impression about the Church, the pastor and his ministry. Never forget that he was once a blessing to you and his contributions to your life cannot be erased.
If you must end a marital (courtship) relationship, end properly. That you are no more courting someone does not make him or her your enemy. That you said “No” to a brother does not now make him a devil. The person may not be right for you but it does not mean the person is not right for life or for another person. Learn to handle relationships properly and it shall be well with you. Amen!
© ‘Demola Awoyele
Destiny Impact Church