The first time the Lord told me to say sorry to my wife, it looked very awkward. How can I say “sorry” when I am not to blame, or so I thought. Following that gentle prompting of the Holy Spirit has made a huge difference in our home. It is not about who is right. It is about what is right.

Friend, you are not yet ready for marriage if you are not ready to submit. Submission in marriage is not about who is right but about what is right. Perhaps, one of the most powerful statements in the Bible is, “…listen to your wife” (Genesis 21:12). This is part of submission. A marriage in which only what the husband says is final is not a healthy one. What God says must be final, including listening to your wife.

Women should know how to get what they want in marriage; it is not to argue with the man but to put him in prayers. This is why the call to be a wife is the call to a life of intercession. There are a lot of issues you would settle or avoid on your knees. As a wife, you are either building prayer muscles or manipulation skills; the two do not go together (1 Kings 21:5-7).

Dear wife, the way to make a man to do what you know is right is not to manipulate but to intercede. You don’t use “bottom power”, neither should you use “stomach power”. Prayer power is still as valid as it has ever been. As a young lady, develop yourself in intercession before marriage. When women take their place in the prayer room, marital issues would be reduced.

Dear husband, be a man that knows God. Be a man that hears God. Most of the marital issues that were resolved in the Bible were resolved on the platform of intimacy with God. Think of Joseph and Mary, Abraham and Sarah, and the crises that their marriages would have suffered (Genesis 21:9-12, Matthew 1:19-20). Joseph and Abraham knew God and it greatly helped their marriages.

Husbands should love their wives and wives should submit to their husbands but “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God” is also in the scriptures (Ephesians 5:21). We are first Christians before spouses. A great marriage is born when truly practising Christian brothers and sisters marry each other (1 Peter 3:1-9). When you grow in your relationship with God, it would impact greatly on your marriage.

© ‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria